"You're Not Like Other Girls"

I thought I'd start my first feminism post with a simple subject, rather than try to tackle the wage gap or lack of representation in the media.

"You're not like other girls."

At one time or another, we've all heard this.  It could be the male lead in a movie trying to sway the female love-interest, or perhaps you've even been told this.  Maybe you've said this to a woman.  What appears as a compliment has hidden (and negative) undertones.

While this may be a genuine compliment and she truly is like no other girl you've ever met before, chances are you have met women like her.  Amongst the dozens of ladies you know and the hundreds you've met, there's bound to be qualities she shares.

But this phrase isn't trying to say she's different than those women. It implies that she's better than those women.

Think about it; It's meant to be a compliment to her.  She's wonderful, fantastic, and you enjoy spending time with her, don't you?  But what does that say about all those women who aren't like her?  Does that make them terrible, dreadful, and unpleasant to spend time with?

This is a classic example of lifting one up by putting others down.  It's manipulative and shames an entire gender for the sake of making one person feel good about herself.  Not much of a compliment, eh?

It stems from a misperception that is rooted in society, one that we see in characters like Penny in the Big Bang Theory and Cher in Clueless.  With every female character we see in movies that lacks substance and originality, it contributes to this idea that women in real life lack substance and originality -- that our interests include shopping and tanning, that we can't form a sentence without the words "like" or "um" every so often, or that we can't possibly be good at -- let alone interested in -- "manly" things like sports and video games.  Any women who shows substance and originality beyond this narrowly defined personality is a special snowflake and should be acknowledged for it (I hope that sentence made you cringe reading it as much as I did writing it).

Surprise, surprise! Hardly any woman fits this stereotype entirely, though we all (men included) have attributes from it.  And for the few who do fit it, that's ok too! What's not alright is allowing this to be the default for girls because it limits them.  Just because a women likes to shop, that doesn't make her materialistic, nor does wearing makeup make her self-absorbed.  Having no interest in sports doesn't make her "unrelateable" to men, and repeating "um" does not mean she's a ditz.

The next time you hear this line, remember - he may have a high opinion of you, but he has a poor judgement of women in general.  If you have the chance to respond to the person, tell him that while his intentions may be good, the compliment would be more meaningful if he compared you to people in general rather than just women.  And if you're comfortable enough with him, call him out on it!  Ask him what makes you different from other girls, and he'll probably list a few sexist stereotypes like the ones from above.  If it's a genuine compliment, then he should be able to use the word "people" in place of "girls," (ex: "you're not like other people because no one else makes me laugh this hard.")

Three More Weeks... and Then, Monterey!

Monterey, California, that is.  Scott and I will be going up there the week after finals.  Nothing is set in stone yet as we still need to find out our schedules at the time, but until then I will excitedly check hotel pricing in the area.  Right now I'm looking into The Monterey Hotel, an old-Victorian style place from the early 20th century and hoping that we can plan to stay on the discounted days.

This trip is a partial anniversary retreat for us -- two years next month -- and a chance for us to spend time together before Scott leaves on his 6-month study abroad program in Switzerland (I've already tried asking to go with him and it just won't work out. Pooh).

We'll spend the day at Fisherman's Warf, the Aquarium of the Pacific, and go to all the best beaches for spotting sea otters.  Oh, these three weeks can't pass soon enough!

Cooking Hack: Chocolate Chip Cookies

If you haven't noticed yet, I have a large sweet tooth.  So far there's about 3 or 4 recipes on the blog and only one is a proper meal.  Tee hee.

Image from verybestbaking.com

Amongst my favorite of all sweets is the classic chocolate chip cookie.  For years I followed various recipes always to find flat cookies that were either too crunchy on the bottom (large stiffness) or too flimsy to stay in one piece (large bending moment).  But for soft cookies, the only solution was to make the cookie taller (which would increase the moment of inertia).  The secret that took me years to discover?

Lard.

Yep, good ol' pig fat. Lovely, isn't it? (Is butter much better though?)

Substitute an equal amount of butter for lard, no matter the recipe. I like to use the Nestle Toll House one printed on the back of the chocolate chip bags.

If you don't eat animal products, shortening made from vegetable fat is also an option.

Conclusion: cookies would make terrible structural elements.

Painted Planting Pots

Now that the warmer weather is setting in, it's perfect time to begin growing garden herbs.  Or, if you're without a garden of your own like me, pots are a great substitute.  Who says they have to be plain terra cotta? Below is a fairly simple tutorial on how I painted my planting pots and choosing environmentally-friendly paint.

Can you guess what I'll be growing in them?

What you'll need:

• terracotta pots and saucers (I used three 6" ones)
• paint (one 2 fl oz bottle of Americana in 'zinc' can cover three 6" pots and saucers)
• paint brushes / small sponges (make-up sponges will work too)
• old newspaper
• pencil
• Sharpie Water-Based Medium-Point Pen

[images coming soon]

What to do:

1.  Make sure pots and saucers are clean. If you just purchased them, they should be ok.  If you're using old pots, place them in a white vinegar-water solution (more info here). 
2. Once clean, apply the first coat of paint. To have a nice, finished layer, paint several thin coats -- outdoors.  Painting will likely take two stages, the top/bottom of the saucer and the inside/outside of the pots.  When painting the inside of the pots, only paint down approx. 1" from the top. Let dry for about 45 minutes to 1 hour on newspapers before applying the next coat.  I used 4 coats in total with small, partial touch-ups. 
3. After finishing the final coat of paint, take the pencil and very very lightly write out your message - plant / herb types, name of a friend (gifts!), etc. It may be helpful to draw a straight line parallel to the bottom of the pot.  
4. Test the sharpie pen on newspaper before using on the pots.  It requires a lot of shaking and a decent amount of pressure for the ink to flow.  Trace over the pencil, stopping every so often to shake again.  

The Potential Impacts of Paint

It's not something often thought of.  It lingers on our walls for years until a fresh coat is painted over top.  But without proper precautions, paint can have negative effects on indoor air quality and breathing conditions.  Steps have been taken to make paint less-dangerous -- at least there's no lead anymore (and that took nearly 75 years to put into effect after the dangers of lead were discovered).  Today the largest danger in paint are VOCs - volatile organic compounds.  As paint dries, these compounds are released and combine with existing gases in the air to form ozone.  This has been linked to breathing problems and headaches, and in extreme cases cancer, as well as liver and kidney damage.

If you're in the market for paints, look for key-words like 'low VOC' or 'VOC free,' and opt for water-based paints over oil-based.  Another good indicator is the Green Seal, given to paints with VOC levels below 50 g/L for flat finishes and 100 gL/ for non-flat finishes.

Image from greenseal.org

As rapid consumers, Americans bring thousands of goods into our homes each year, several of which have not been tested for chemicals.  Unfortunately, companies have limited product safety standards to meet and oftentimes prioritize profit over environmental responsibility and consumer health.  This leaves shoppers unaware of potential dangers in the items they're buying.  But you don't have to be! A few of my favorite trusted sites on product information are listed below:

• Cradle to Cradle - reusable products that eliminate the need for material extraction and future waste by increasing its life-span.
• EWG's Skin Deep Cosmetic Database - look up the dangers of beauty/cosmetic items. Over 61,000 products recorded.
• Household Products Database - perhaps the largest range of items of the sources listed here.
• Safer Products - US Consumer Product Safety Commission (government-sponsored) website were people can report problems with specific goods.

Being a smart shopper means more than saving money.  While the majority of products on shelves have hidden dangers, more and more sustainable goods are emerging as consumers demand higher safety standards.